Gross!

Stern Carnage from marti paradisis on Vimeo.



***disclaimer: my buddy sent me the link to that shipsterns video and the words below were my reply. it was 12:54am and i was a few deep. hence the lack of grammatical insight. ***


i don't even know what to say in regards to that.

i mean, that wave is just...

i don't even know.

gross.

icky.

kaka.

dangerous.

scary.

disgusting.

retarded.

bizarre.

it's unlike any other slab we - or, i, rather - know of at this point.

but think about it. you know there's some other mental slabs like that in norway or greenland or nova scotia or the faroe islands or the kuril islands or the falkalnd islands or reunion island or mauritius island or haida gwaii or alaska or soooooooo many other places, it's ridiculous. it's unreal how many undiscovered waves there are. isn't it? i want to go find them. i need a couple million dollars and then i can just go and fund the f'n craziest trips for waves ever. i'll hire some gnarly forecaster from surfline and i'll get dane and keith and the long brothers to come with and just go find the most mental waves ever and constantly be the first to be shooting the most psychedelic waves on the planet. seriously. with a few milly i could do that, easy. but i don't have a few milly. i just have some camera gear and a very flat, reefless/pointless coastline. 


well, that's not entirely true. 


we have some gems. i want to name them all (like i did in the e-mail), because it's kind of funny and/or sad that it's just a handful of spots and sandbars. and, to top it off, a couple of them i would never surf. but they don't need to be named. not here. you know all about them anyway. there are no secrets anymore. it's weird up here. we're weird. weird surf. weird spots. weird people. weird animals. weird stuff. it's just weird. and so am i.